Correction. Four top teeth are erupting.

The toll these teeth are taking on Charlie's GI system is intriguing. Unlike big brother Miles, Charlie's bottom has been pristine for most of his tiny life. Merely a dash of baby powder has kept the snowbanks of his buttcheeks aglow. Now his bum is a pink sky freckled with crimson constellations. We've used more diapers and wipes this week than we did last month.

Miles's teething-induced diarrhea (I know, medically unproven) seemed to stretch from infancy until 3. I was forced to become an afficianado of diaper rash ointments. Domestic, imported; I had quite a collection.

Charlie is crying again. So unlike him.